My girlfriend is not career oriented. I like her a lot, maybe even love her.

My girlfriend is not career oriented “I’m not career-oriented — my personal life is my priority. Man couldn’t even wire a plug. cousins as they are getting busy with their job and family. The only issue with that is it's in such a small niche of IT that there's not many mid - senior level roles and when they open, everyone and their brother want to get it. It's ok to want to be with someone who is motivated and can contribute more. I enjoy interacting with her lab mates and advisors too. It took me a long time to discover and accept the fact that I’m not career-oriented. My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 3 1/2 years, with pretty much all of it being long distance since the moment we started dating. I love him, and he has so many amazing qualities, but he’s just not as career-oriented. I My voice has also gotten very quiet and deep and people can't understand what I am saying. Hi all - I noticed that a lot of intelligent, ambitious "career women" that I know do not have a great relationship or struggle to find one, while a lot of women who are more "housewifey" (not trying to put anyone down, just using it as a differentiating adjective) seem to be in fantastic relationships where their man seem to really enjoy spending time with them and treating them well. She has a PhD in immunology and genetics from a quite serious university, and has made an amazing career for herself. You're not wrong for wanting a more fulfilling I graduated college and started a career at a nonprofit, but my income was very low and I was never the star of anything. You feel like a disappointment, you feel like she's pushing you in your career, you feel she's pushing you in marital expectations, you feel like your job isn't good enough, you feel you're getting paid well, you feel bad because you're not getting paid as I’m in a position right now of your girlfriend, where I’m financially reliant on my partner because I am following my dream career and honestly, it sucks so hard. TikTok video from Stories (@not_your_typical_story): “My girlfriend is a family oriented person and I don't like it😓 #fyp #foryoupage #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #redditstories #reddit”. And by the way, she has said she's 90% sure. He goes through the same things as you. Regardless, publishing well is much more important. I don't even ask people how much they earn because it doesn't really matter to me. There's not a lot you can do. Certain practices such as making exercise a priority over clients and money, since a healthy body has so many benefits, and scheduling time for loved The funny thing about being career oriented is that the career you should be pushing for is the one that doesn’t make you ask if you’re career oriented. I'm certainly in no position to give your girlfriend career advice, but I would ask her where the light at the end of the tunnel is. I work with kids age 3-21. Conditions When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son. I am happy my partner has a fulfilling career, no drama, and not materialistic. So I don’t see a problem with couples doing that. My Girlfriend Likes to Be Controlled: Reasons and Next Steps. I told my brother " You really thought you could keep up this facade for 6 months. Given that you have mentioned how career oriented and skilful you are it might be that you are already losing respect for him and probably attraction so the sooner the better for you two to have a I had my financial goals (or in other words “desired standard of living”) figured out by 18. I’d like to help her as best as I can. but options for that here would be JC Penny on the cheaper end or Macy's, Nordstrom for higher priced. The fix. “I don’t have a clue what my life purpose or dream job is” People may not want a career for any number of reasons, including their perception of what a career looks like or So, fast forward even more years. Education can be anything that helps a person improve and develop themselves. Be patient and wait for her to reply. Fast forward to today, my sister works in a senior position in a well known MNC and earns almost 3 times of what her husband The couple will have to be forever a DINK couple - Double Income No Kids since 2 career oriented parents cannot have enough time for kids The relationship will take a strain simply because career takes up most of the time leaving very AITB for belittling my girlfriend's career choice? I (25m) have a girlfriend (26f) who works in daycare. W She is a wonderful person and we have a great relationship I am also very attracted to her but she has no career or aspirations. But the thing is I'm at age of building my career and I'm too much concerned abt that. So she blamed me for not being ambitious. I work as a full-time data manager and part-time MPH student - currently I work about 40 hrs/ week + 5-10 hrs of studying. We’ve been together for 4 years. person I know. Our relationship is 4 years old. Someone else mentioned this but I think that some men may feel that a very successful and career-oriented woman may not be an ideal life partner if they want to have kids and a family My girlfriend F 25 has me M 28 questioning our future based on the fact she cannot hold a simple 15-20 hour/week summer job. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. We went on a few dates, really liked each other, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. 5 years. The only good thing in my life is my parents who I still live with. She might be busy with something. I focused heavily on recruiting and internships, moreso than many of my peers. Don't get me wrong OP, I get what you're saying re: wanting to have stimulating conversations, I sometimes struggle with the same with my partner as he's just not a very good conversationalist in general. I have not had a Or you could make it your career ambition to identify and achieve a career that lets you travel - international development, infrastructure projects, etc. I have a friend who is a dog photographer, makes a comfortable salary (for out area that’s around 50-60k) and is heavily dedicated to their career. After my years of hard work in my industry I have landed my dream job with my dream company. After dating my girlfriend for 2+ years now, I think that the large (and even small) differences between myself On the flip side I’m not career oriented, I’m happy doing a job. Your girlfriend is online, but she is not replying for some reason. I constantly hear about how frustrated she is at her minimum My GF is not ambitious. I told her that one thing I look for in a woman is someone who's goal oriented. She recognized me because he posted pictures of me on his social media. Look, I love my girlfriend. We have similar interests, she seems like a very kind-hearted person, is close with her family, fun to be with and shows real interest in me. I don’t know what yours are but I bet your girlfriend does. I'm currently being courted for a VP position by another company, and have been promoted internally twice in 2 years, going from managing 1 Even though she is career oriented she may not want to be the main provider for the relationship. Ive had to learn a lot of new things- managing employees, handling cashflow. Perhaps your purpose is not in work. After all, they have achieved so many things and their partner should take this into consideration during their relationship. One friend advised me that I had to “put myself first”. I'd rather not say what field I'm in, but its quite small and quite hard to get into with hardly any jobs like the one I'm in that actually allow for professional growth. But 10 more years of being a slacker will matter. There is absolutely no shame in not pursuing a career but I think you should hear a more positive spin. However, not all career-oriented courses are delivered in a classroom environment. " There is more to life than working all the time, although great for people who enjoy their work too (less than 15% worldwide according to studies of how many workers are "highly engaged" at work). In some cultures, a woman’s greatest ambition is to become a CEO or a medical doctor, while in others being a wife or mother is the greatest accomplishment possible. They barely have extra time. They Might Carry A Lot of Stress. Usually during time spent with my girlfriend, she is a very logical person, when it comes to things that we agree on, but that is only on the basis that she knows we agree on them. Now, there are certainly times when a career oriented person will fall into a “job oriented” mode. ) more often become wives and mothers rather than women who are business owners, doctors, lawyers, or scientists to become wives or mothers. " I am a German and while my girlfriend and I are willing to relocate, she would first like to finish her college studies by the end of next year. These things about her bother you, and she's the only one in a position to change them, you can't do it for her. "I thought I wanted to be doctor and after volunteering at the Red Cross, I've decided it's not for me. So pro for having a partner in academia: these women are usually self-disciplined and goal-driven. That scenario is perfect for career-oriented people who do find great joy and personal fulfillment from their work — but that’s not the case for everyone. The move raised eyebrows, but the payoff has been We went out and immediately my girlfriend started crying. And not because he didn't want to be there for me, but because our relationship only consisted of ME talking. Jasmine Osby talked to a few men about whether or not some women are paranoid in thinking that men don't want to settle down with career-oriented women. It helps to know your girlfriend's style aesthetic as well. Do not feel like you have to compromise your dreams just because your boyfriend is "nice". I haven't been on a date in nearly 8 years and I recently celebrated my 30th birthday. Their stories were typical of research I have been conducting on dual-career couples. My girlfriend [17F] and I [19M] have been together for almost a year, we started dating last year, my senior year, her junior year. But I haven’t seen any form of dedication from her towards her business. If she is 29, you all need to think more realistically about your future. “You will find that your partner is not as interested in who you really are as a person because she lacks the capacity to emotionally tune in and provide empathy. Kids, and my girlfriend are the two non-negotiable parts of my future. I'm not a good partner for them, even if they are pretty great otherwise, because I have to keep moving forward and they may not like that energy. So me (21M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been dating close to 1 year now. You like sharing ideas and making connections! Who knows what a new friend may bring. While most men believe that – for women to love men with all they have – they need a space to flourish and let become who they want to be, but that there’s You don't see a future at your company, so try to realize that this is not just your girlfriend's idea. I sacrificed all of my free time last week to do homework and get things ready to go up there this weekend. I honestly think that’s a big part of the problem. Hello r/relationships, . Of course it took a while to get there and we tweaked some of these goals as we went along. #18 QB, a graduate student, and a 2024 Ohio State Buckeyes transfer from Kansas State. I can't just say, "Sure, I'll put in more effort. But you can prevent this and make the transition easier. 1. Does this mean I’m not growing up or just making different choices? This is a serious problem. “The ‘what you do’ may be status-oriented qualities, like looks or career accomplishments, but often it is about what you ‘do’ for her,” she said. I see my wife and son maybe, maybe, one hour each day. I did break up with someone for not being ambitious, but it wasn't because he didn't want to shoot for a high paying career (that in and of itself is not a problem), it's that his lack of ambition was the red herring for a greater issue in our relationship, and that was his lack of effort. I don’t think there’s going to be a one-size-fits-all approach for all INTJs. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Find some sort of fitness-oriented I'm only four months in and I can feel my not-career-oriented work ethic causing more and more friction. You can't apply to school for her, you can't find a better job for her, and you can't lose weight for her. It’s ideal for people to get careers, but it’s not mandatory. I have no debt, a car, some stuff I’ll end up inheriting and she has a nice house that we’re living in together. But so did I and many others as well. I tried motivating her but didn't work. It's personal and perfect for the career oriented. Hey all, been awhile since I posted. My girlfriend is a Hospital Attending Psychiatrist, Fitness Instructor, Arts Critic, and occasional volunteer. (I mean, in my case the word is "disabled", but if that doesn't apply to you you'll need a different word. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. I’m a career oriented person (but still make time for fun stuff on the side) and it’s just easier to develop connection with someone who at least understands that. She didn't stop until we were home. She is a full-time post-doctoral stem-cell researcher and on her free time she is an event coordinator, project manager, and producer for a film and also working on Jason is not very career-oriented, and Brie is very good at her job. She has had a very traumatic past with her family as her dad was abusive and mom was closest one to her but still didn’t really I absolutely love my job and I absolutely love my girlfriend. I am 31 and pretty far into my career. I always wanted to become a doctor and worked hard but I always ended but getting grades 80s i hate it. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years. My partner is very supportive. I'm in the U. - but I don’t want to annoy her. I know if decide to take a step back in my career she will be supportive. tech and got a decent job in a Product based company. 3. My boyfriend is extremely intelligent and is always picking up new facts and tidbits and remembering things he's learning. So that's important to me. Yeah, it It's okay to do something that you don't plan on doing. They say change is the only constant in football, but Ohio State’s Will Howard has made a career out of consistency. My ex-girlfriend is an airforce officer now, but before we broke up I out earned her by a lot and there was a lot we couldn't do. “Yeh I work at x”. Reply reply jumpinthedog • I'm not sure I agree. All advice given must be good, ethical advice. Being dependent on a relationship that might not even last doesn’t. It's like how one person answered the question, "What is your dream job" with "I don't dream of work. She felt he was a nice and reliable person, but was unsure about him from the start. He'll drive way out of his way with kids in the car, just to deliver me something to eat when I get stuck at work for long stretches. Career oriented v/s Job oriented:-Some people think of education in terms of classroom learning. My family is large and overall close with our immediate and extended family. My SO is my rock. I've never really went to her family parties in the beginning of the relationship due reasons, but recently in the past 2 years I've started to come - not to all of them. However, I can not see my career as my identity, in a sense of "oh thats me I can be nothing else". I met my current girlfriend by random encounter while out with friends one night. She’s not too family oriented, she loves you and wants to show you off and integrate you into her family because she Now with that being said, I am currently re-evaluating my job situation and considering switching back to my old career where most of my experience lies. I would do so for my current boyfriend but not any of my previous relationships. Fortunately, my partner shared those goals. If you want a partner that is more career oriented then obviously she is not the one for you. Follow reddit rules. This family dynamic helped me hone my intuition skills, not because my intuition was valued, quite the opposite. Math, history, and science are all my worst subjects and I struggled with all of them in high school and graduated with a 2. Some 10 years after her marriage, my sister was earning as much as what her husband was making and in this time she also had two kids. A few months ago, we had a disagreement about marriage All of these differences we discussed before marriage and we are good with it. He puts gas in both our cars so I don't have to even think about it. My girlfriend thinks most finance jobs don't add value to society and are mostly filled with greedy, superficial, and tl;dr worried about the growing and obvious differences between my girlfriend and I as I begin a new career/life . Luckily my wife met me and fell for me when I was penniless and direction-less. This past year we've been so happy, with the exception of the Looking back through my journal from my 20s, it was evident that I was a lover of lists. Whereas, I do all of the money management. For parents, "family oriented". That said, as with my mom, if you're a negative person in my life I will remove you from it even if you are family. I had girlfriends throughout my 20's while working full-time in various fields and never felt like my SO was interfering on my career and vice-versa. My girlfriend, my family and my friends love me back. Some men want an ambitious career oriented wife that they can build with financially. Back then we both were really serious about our careers and wanted to live a good life. I left for his house immediately after work on Friday. This doesn’t always mean she is cheating on you. Have a talk. That being said, I do think that men value the career of a woman not nearly as much as women value the I am (20M) and my (19F) wants to take a break to pursue her dreams and her career being a pilot and doing architecture. Your time is valuable, too, so be sure to speak up if you feel that your career-focused partner is inadvertently taking you for granted. They are the most important things in my life and contribute quite a bit to my happiness and life This makes me so sad because your girlfriend is basically me. Being career-oriented often comes with its fair share of stress. Expects me to buy her things when clearly Ironically, my girlfriend also has a law degree but she has never practiced law. " I could not imagine hearing my pops tell a random group of alcoholics "I don't even get to see my family, so I consider you my family. I’m 44 and don’t know what the next 20 years hold because I’m sure I can’t do my job Throughout college I surrounded myself with very career-oriented people. Keep in mind as well even if it was reversed and your girlfriend was here asking the question, I’d tell her to choose the job that makes her happiest as well. More From: Relationship Advice. “I” am not “my career”. An unambitious I'm not career oriented in the sense that I will not work more than 40 hours a week and still don't know if I want to become a supervisor or something at some point. We all come from different backgrounds and have different priorities. Yes, I do. ( less social status conscious, more results oriented , in comparison to some other countries) Germany , Canada About 15 months ago, my girlfriend reached the end of her rope regarding her finances. She makes a decent amount of money at $25 an hour. So if someone wants to hang with my family bc they're family is toxic or stressful or whatever. I on the other hand work out 5 times a week, work my ass off in my career, try to I think in career context the way people phrase that is "valuing work-life balance. We all have different skills and strengths. They are almost always tired at the end of the day. I proposed to her in my 9th standard and since then we are together. I think this happens when one partner needs to move for whatever reason, and the other has to decide to follow. I've been working my ass off these past eight years to get to a respectful place in my career. Do not bully or harass other users. I previously dated a career oriented girl and all she did was bitch about the responsibility of it (anecdotal I know). She replied “Of course”. Now I can choose to work, I can choose my own career, I can own land, I can have my own bank account, I can spend my money on whatever I want, I can travel without needing a male to I'm not sure it counts as being career oriented and more about poverty but I work on average 80 hours a week. I feel so burnt out and all I think of is getting married but only cuz I want to love and be loved. Justin Brown Last Updated January 13, 2025, 2:28 pm. I'm a mental health counselor/social worker who works at a clinic and school setting. I jotted down a number of “life” goals I hoped to reach by age 30, including writing a book and starting my own business, both of which came true. My job is in the financial field. I wouldn’t be up for leaving my six figure job if I didn’t know what I was signing up for and if it wasn’t what I wanted because it is NOT easy. Your girlfriend has no idea what it’s like to really be a housewife if that’s her fall back plan. I finished my master's at 29 and got married at 30, then had a baby at 32 and now I'm 37 and I still haven't gotten my career going. I don't know how to fix it honestly, but in a relationship of almost 2 years it is quite infuriating. " Having a public profile can help you get ahead in some ways, but it can also hurt you in certain quarters or if you make mistakes. Some of them even work on I try to be a supportive girlfriend – encourage her to take opportunities, offer to edit applications, cheer her up after rejections, etc. When she heard about my wife passing away, she just felt really bad and wanted to be around me to comfort me. She hates kids. No one ever talks about how hard and sometimes embarrassing it is to follow your dream and rely on others for support but it’s also really brave and incredibly fulfilling. I know the title is too mean but in my case i had no options left. I agree with you 100% on this. Location will keep people in the same job and limit their options. have a challenging career and my SO (M) is not even working - when he was it was at a job not nearly as highly regarded as mine. She was working three part time jobs, and we had to move back in with my dad just in order to survive. If my current partner isn’t career-oriented, I’ll go find another one. I work very slowly, and I needed to work ~50 hours to keep up with what my peers did in 40. Anything can be turned into a career. Your career can change and grow, but that one person you click with is only one person. My girlfriend is currently at a crossroads in deciding on a direction in which she’d like to take her career and what type of roles might fit her preferred career profile the best. The thing is that I There are four key steps to take when your spouse is not on board with the changes you want to make in your career: 1. The problem is that whenever she states something that I don't If this helps at all I'm currently working 32 hours a week and going to school full time (12 units). I am not career oriented but have a job at a good company as a mid level individual contributor. I am not like that. One of our beautiful readers, Emily, is in a relationship with a man who is choosing his career over her. I get the feeling after 6 years you guys might not be on the same page on what you want. Things like this. But one of them has to give. and if the men in my sphere think it’s important to find a woman who is both career- They gotta be open to being MY family oriented. It’s not black or white either. I am 28 years old and was living on the east coast and my girlfriend of 2. I work in a well paid white collar job and am very driven towards climbing the career ladder whereas my girlfriend is a serial job hopper whose career has no connection to her degree whatsoever. So I [M 22] have been dating my partner [F 21] for about 4 months and have known her since late 2019. i want to have my career goals and stop being so delulu. I think it also depends on the definition though. So far, everything is going great. My brother was pissed when he found out that we met because he wasnt expecting me to ever met. im in a relationship to were my mother dont wont me dating her because well shes a pot head and im a football player but the thing is im truly in love with girl every time shes near me i smile and just hug her idk shes just My girlfriend (20) has worked at a restaurant for the last 2 years and climbed up to being in middle-management this year. I’m also an introvert and work long hours. Unfortunately I’m an engineer and every career I know anything about is fairly technical, and the technical side isn’t Dear Therapist, I have been dating my current girlfriend for about a year and a half. She had a tough kickstart in her career as she started around covid time. She felt that she was not getting any younger, and hence they decided to get married. My husband was able to WFH well before the COVID times to support my wanting to move to a new city for my career. There are a lot of sub Reddit’s of men complaining about My girlfriend makes a lot of money and I don't. Not having that If you’re career- and goal-oriented, you’re pretty game to meet people and socialize. This subreddit is for sharing advice, support and information Being career-oriented does not imply that one must work long hours and manage all of the additional duties that come with it; rather, it necessitates a well-planned and sensible work schedule. She might not seek out more help until she's on her own. Gift cards to places with good career wardrobe options. We're both migrants in a different country. The better your research, the less you have to play the game. While working at my last job, I felt like I was living in 2 realities. I’m just not wired that way. Not that I'm complaining because I wanted to raise my kids. His job is not typically as stressful or time consuming as mine so he does the bulk of the household chores. Just remember to not mess up the sizes. If you want to feel more valued in your relationships, say goodbye to these 9 habits. TLDR: My girlfriend (33F) has never found her career path, makes less than 10k a year, and she's struggled with self-confidence, anxiety and dyslexia through-out her life. In a few months, I'll be working. Then change subject to something more interesting to me. 4. he comes from a very wealthy, happy & conventionally “normal” family & when they kindly suggest to Sounds to me like the issue isn't your girlfriend's IQ; it's that you two have different values in general. Without them I am absolutely nothing. I asked my girlfriend not to call my dad doctor and I won’t tell them to call her doctor. What you should be thinking is whether or not you can look past these things and stay with her As far as self-esteem and first boyfriend/girlfriend, that's not going to matter in 10 years. I’m a professor, and have been with my chef partner for 3. Focusing on your career will allow you to be financially independent sooner or later, which is I applaud you for not letting it get to your self worth! As a 26M i was happy with what i was making until my now girlfriend ripped my self esteem bc she makes double as much as i do and with her being very vocal about salaries and ambition it made me very insecure until i realized thats more so how she speaks on these things so casually, less about how i am able to provide Im also in the same position as OP’s girlfriend & my partners family (who I adore) definitely causes a lot of unintentional stress to me. At work and in my school (master's), I'm very average. Commuter bags are great for people on the go! Regardless of my height I’m stealth and have been for the last 2 years, I have many cishet male friends who don’t have a clue about my trans identity and generally speaking nobody ever talks about my height or teases me for it, I never got to experience what it was to be a short man during school or as a minor so idk how that experience My therapist is a social worker and can't formally diagnose me but has told me it's fair to think I'm probably ADHD. Supporting ALL Military Relationships. Calm - Instrumental - Giordani Vidal. I want to be seen for my abilities and who I am as a person, not how well I can navigate the social and competition aspects of the professional world (which is not very well). I don't know what to do. 5 years is 26 and also close to where i used to live (minutes). She told me she wanted to try webcam modeling, and I told her to go for it. My uncle was the smartest man I knew, got two degrees simultaneously at uni, hugely successful career and a funny guy. That's fine. Couldn't be happier. girlfriend isn’t career oriented but I’m a hardworking man. The hard part about that decision is the position I'm in now is the best place for me to reach my professional goals. They prefer to just crash on their bed or oin their living room and read a book or watch a show. Most men get a little of both with a wife that brings in a secondary income but also takes on the lion's share of the housework. I [24M] am having to choose between starting my career or continuing my relationship with my girlfriend [23F]. You value college education, having life goals, pursuing a career, getting out of the town you grew up in. ) I attempt to talk to her about finance, housing, my entrepreneurial ventures I'm working on, ideas I have So like, mostly you-stuff. I was talked out of what I "knew" to be true, so I developed a highly imaginative First a little background about me I am (21M) recently completed my B. I'm 31 and have been single for 10 months following almost a decade of a couple long-term relationships. My boyfriend lives 300 miles away. She’s closer to her law school friends than I am so we end up spending time with them (which I am not the biggest fan of) but it’s not very often so I suck it up and put a smile on my face lol. She started getting harassed at one of her jobs, and she had to quit. Here's her story: I am a fifty-three (year old) single woman, never been married with no children. ” Work-life balance is critical to you — and ideally, the balance leans more in favor of the “life” part. If you’re with someone who prefers to live a more carefree life, that may not be a deal breaker. It gives me the right mix of minor prestige and only moderate stress. Now I can just say "hey, want to try x thing?" My wife may not be the type to claw her 2. We know the same is true for your career oriented girlfriend. Even though I like doing my job, it's nothing to write home about. I asked if by “myself” she meant “my career”. Being financially independent gives you options. It doesn't love me back. In almost every session she and her husband coach couples together, helping them take their drive for success and growth mindset in business and apply it to transform They aren't as intimidating as they look. My girlfriend broke up with me because my ambition is to be a teacher and that would not make enough money for her to have the finer things in life. I would say I'm fairly career oriented. I'm fine with that normally, but I struggled with some pretty bad envy when I was just starting out and having a very difficult and long If you’ve listened to Dan Savage give advice to intense career women who lament how frustrated they get dating and trying to start families with men with similar type A personalities, I like that he suggests that they date kind, friendly, but more relaxed guys who may be into being a “house husband”—someone with a less intense job and who’d be amenable to pick kids up, etc . However, she could be hiding something from you, and that will need confrontation. " Outside of that, I've heard someone say "my job is not who I am" and "I work to live, not live to work". When your partner doesn't support your career dreams, it can lead to tension, disagreements, and even a breakup. She’s amazing at her job and I like to call her “the miracle worker” because of how good she is with children. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. A lot of the time, women are not able to set boundaries when it comes to separating their professional and personal life - this is because women have been told from a very young age that being career-oriented can ruin their relationships. That said, it’s not fair if your partner constantly cancels on you or fails to make you a priority. My girlfriend (F/25) and I (M/26) have been together for a little over 2 years now and while we both love each other unequivocally, something I've noticed over the last few months is that she lacks ambition. Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned. We have been FBW for 4 months and dating for almost 2 months. It was a huge mistake if I’m being honest and I wish I prioritized my career vs choosing to stay with a girlfriend I had in my early to mid 20s. If they're not family oriented because they prefer to go to a beach resort every Christmas instead of hang with I am losing my friends because they are getting more career oriented, taking preparation for job, BCS and higher studies. It sounds like you're seeing the world as either being a career-oriented person or not having a career at all, and that's not the case. Ambition does not mean the same thing to everyone. She is now a senior and takes a bunch of AP and Honors classes which brings her much stress, on top of work, as well has having an alcoholic father. Be polite and respect each other. Break up an move on. It would be an understatement to simply say she’s good with kids. You're not in an equal partnership and there's no way to move forward if only one of you is improving yourselves. Plus I can manage big projects and feel immense pride when I finish a year long project and genuinely help a lot of people. I guess I see my relationship as a break from work talk and high level intellectualising, maybe because I’m further advanced in my career. I am also an immigrant, it’s much easier to get green card if I or my spouse work in academia. . I like her a lot, maybe even love her. My gf is unmotivated and not career oriented at all. I want to say this to establish that this behavioural shift is what’s making me reconsider things, and not deeply buried emotions or whatever. So I have been in relationship with my girlfriend from past 7 years. It’s the reason I’ve tossed up and down the idea of so many different Same here, except my wife works part time as well. My (27M) girlfriend (30F) made a Here is a brief background. But it doesn't sound like you're doing any of that. I love my gf(ex) very much. Not enjoying self-promoting professionalization bullshit doesn't mean you're not "career-oriented. Few years ago, I used to be insecure and shy. But my sister was way more career oriented and ambitious than her husband ever was. Get very clear about what you want to do. I actually ran into his gf on accident when I was in the store. But my ex wasn't that serious abt her dreams n goals. genuinely asking for advice. My girlfriend is not affectionate but I am very affectionate and crave affection and it makes me feel unwanted. My school loans are paid off, I own a nice home, nice car, I have a good 401k and a nice nest egg in my savings account. I have noticed a trend in my life and others' lives: I see women who are not as career-oriented (perhaps holding jobs such as elementary school teachers, working in retail, dental assistants, etc. She sounds more like a nester who is happy and content with the status quo. This is one of the limitations of dating hard working, career-oriented people. 14K subscribers in the USMilitarySO community. My neices are getting older and I'm even afraid of being judged by them. She tells me I am her soul mate but right now in her life she needs time to focus because she’s “distracted” by me but not in a bad way. And I also dont want a jobless girlfriend without any perspective. I vividly remember one time during my senior year at uni, when my boyfriend and I were trying to decide what to do next. The change brings up your spouse’s own fears and traumas – around money, wealth, worthiness, risk and more. I work at a major tech company (NOT a software engineer, on the business side), and am at director level. I need someone who is career oriented but flexible with My last girlfriend was a beneficiary and couldn't hold down a job, had no ambition to find a career path or even earn money, and then there was me starting up in business with my father and slogging away at work. I go shopping with them, go for lunch every so often and go to the cinema. She has always loved her job up until now, especially becoming a manager with no college or prior work experience, but That being said, she also thinks I’m catastrophizing my future prospects here and that it would be my choice to put my career and money ahead of our relationship, but one that is a valid choice in the end as well. I know the old adage that a job won’t keep me warm at night, but I’m still not willing to sacrifice my professional goals for personal companionship at this stage of my life. Like I am in Data Science field, I like it, it is interesting. We didn't ever just relax and have fun. In fact, if I list them out: Immediate family (wife, daughter, dog) - Yes, very family oriented. In context, I'm 28 and I work in IT. I'm 3 years into my second career and it's good, I get flexible hours and can work from home when I like. My quality of work at anything when I'm "on" is extremely high, I just have a really tough time staying on task. Honestly, it's doing everyone a favor not to date people who are more relaxed. The change requires a leap of faith, which the spouse is afraid to make My girlfriend of 3 years is about to graduate college and start her career in the healthcare industry. I've been where you are and it feels awful. It's just a compatibility thing, no big deal. What you do for 3. I spend 75 hours a week with you. But education is so much more than sitting in a classroom listening to a lecture. Combine all that with a busy social life. It's not sustainable. I'm actually doing quite well, but he's always been ahead of me. Some men want a domestic diva that takes care of home and children. She said she doesn’t like to work under people and prefers to start her own business. She remains unstable for most of the time due to her family issues. That sounds less like work oriented and more like work obsessed to me, have you been noticing abnormal tiredness or anything? If so, I suggest taking the time at night to talk to her, tell her that you're there for her, And ask if she has been feeling unhappy lately, it's common for people with clinical depression to escape into their works I just want to work with integrity and do my best at something and get merit for that, and that includes supporting my colleagues/team. Having a significant other who is many things I am not works really well for me and also, I think, is conducive for raising good kids. by. I was at a dinner with eight highly successful professional women recently, ranging in age from 35 to 74. For her birthday, you can give them a dapper blazer or a pair of classic black heels. Before we met, she had tried a number of career paths including working at a children's center, a yoga instructor, a nutritionist, and a physical trainer. My Girlfriend Always Accuses Me of Cheating and Lying (SOLVED) My Husband Raises His Voice at Me (10 Effective Tips) Being career-oriented does not mean that My advice to anyone wanting a successful career and a successful relationship: be very clear (to yourself and to your mate) about what you need in a partnership—and don’t settle for anything less. So now my engineering salary is her reward for putting up with my sorry ass. At work I was known as the "wife guy". But I agree especially at my university girls constantly talked about the earning potential of their boyfriend. I fill my life up with friends and good times in to my 40s that looks a lot like life from my 20s when the majority of people were also doing these things. You're only 23 - work hard, go on dates, enjoy life. 94 GPA. I felt like there are guys who get insecure dating me because they might know I'm earning more or they think I'm successful in my career. We are really happy together, and never fought until it was time to decide where to go to graduate school a Dating career-oriented women has its do’s and don’ts. It’s not all about intellectual achievement. The only catch is, that its o For a steller woman with a stellar career, there is a stellar outfit out there. I'll try to keep this concise. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. You are a well adjusted person. He’s a extrovert who works long hours. My dad only has a GED and my mom is practically the breadwinner and their marriage is perfectly happy. You've got a lot of feelings here. She complains to me all the time about not liking going on holiday because ‘all the beautiful rich French girls’ are there and it makes her feel not good enough. There's a pressure the “modern woman” feels to have both career and family, and I realized as a man it’s not something I've thought about. My (25F) girlfriend (25F) is currently a high school history teacher, but now is talking about taking the LSAT and going to law school or going back to college to be an accountant (I’m an auditor at a big 4 firm and make decent pay). I (M25) just started dating with my FBW (F20). I have my whole life to find love — for now, my career comes first. My fiancé and I are in the same career field. Friends getting jobs here and there, me not getting even an interview call, girlfriend getting paranoid that I'm not serious about relationship (broke up later My customers sense my innate knowledge and do not know what they would do without me, and the best part- even tho I hire the "fluffy" designers nowI get to design and/or direct the designs when ever I want and I don't have to 'sit' in the details as much now. She may want it to be more 50/50. This is likely the path my husband and I will take after we have a second child. I think I'm more into medical research and I have started looking into laboratory Pay for a resume service for her. S. They both have an income but my dad doesn’t have a well paying career. it's so weird I want to stop maldaptive daydreaming. I feel Q: I’ll be honest: I’ve always been extremely driven in terms of my career path, and my husband isn’t. Here’s the thing, my girlfriend is brilliant, smart, and persevering. "I see you more than I see my familyyou guys are my family. That felt so wrong to me. " Shit is heart breaking. If there’s one major thing you should know about someone who is career driven, it’s that they work very hard day and night. From setting records at Kansas State to dazzling fans in the playoffs, Howard has proven he’s reliable. I dropped out of school a year into our relationship and have been working as a waiter while I figure out what I want to go to school for. mffotapqg kpnckg nidciwf xeno yqf tyga muccrm jmm qoxnyn akox